The summer of 2009 I started losing weight. I
wasn't even aware of how skinny I was until my dad told me how bony I looked. I
did NoT have an eating disorder. July 25th I was brought to Edwards hospital
for labs showing my blood sugar was in the 500's... It's suppose to be under
120... My pancreas had stopped working and I became a type 1 diabetic. From
that moment on my eating, exercise, and life became increasingly more
difficult. I began to eat more food when my blood level would drop to low and
as months passed and my body went through changes so did my insulin rates. I
always felt sick and tired and on top of that I was gaining so much weight. It
was at high school when I really started caring and paying attention to what I
was eating. I progressively got worse and would even go to the gym twice in one
day. I was a exercis-o-holic! Then I would use a calorie counter to subtract
everything I ate and when I didn't break even with calories or I felt like I
ate to much I would self harm with rage. I was so upset that I wasn't even
losing weight and it became my obsession. I continued to count calories but the
worse I felt about myself the more more I wanted to stop eating. One night
after eating a huge meal I was way above calories so I went for a jog but after
I felt so sick that I threw up. A lightbulb had gone off in my head and I
thought that instead of starving myself I could still eat but then throw it all
up later. This terrible eating cycle was partially recognized by my parents and
I was so depressed and isolated from all of my friends I ended up cracking
after a terrible relapse and then they helped me make the first steps toward
recovery.
No comments:
Post a Comment