Anonymous Story #26

It started when I was 8. I didn't know it was wrong until my brother found out. I started masturbating when I was 8. When I was 10, I started watching porn. When I was 13, I started masturbating every week. When I was 16, I masturbated every day. Now, I'm bleeding. I'm scared. It's so wrong, but feels so good. How can I be such a monster? I'm disgusted by myself. I can't tell my friends...how would they think of me when they knew? To them, I'll be a sick whore. I'm so ashamed of myself. Now that I've gone too far and started bleeding, I've vowed to myself that I won't do it again. I can't bare to even look back. But I've broken that rule. I relapsed. I'm ashamed. No one will ever understand. How can a girl be addicted to masturbating? How can she be so gross? To you, I'm a nasty girl that does nasty things. How can you understand? How can anyone understand? No one will ever understand. No one, because it's frowned up. I hang my head in shame. To my best friend, I'm sorry that I could never tell you this. It's one thing that I will never let you find out. To my parents, I'm sorry that I'm a failure as a daughter. I'm sorry that I can't be as smart as you want me to be. To my sister, I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you this. I'm too ashamed to say it. And finally, to myself. You're a dumb idiot. This is all your fault. I'm sorry world.