I can't pin-point
one exact day or one exact moment when I realized I was depressed. It was a
long, gradual process, and unlike what most people think, I didn't go through
some big traumatic experience to make me depressed. I simply feel unsatisfied
with life. I feel like I don't belong, like I don't connect with anybody. I'm
not the prettiest or the smartest or the nicest or the most popular. I'm just
another body floating through Earth with no significant impact. Some
people think that teenagers say they are depressed for attention. This misconception
makes me so angry. I am by no means sending this for attention or sympathy. Do
people actually think I LIKE being depressed? That I enjoy the constant sadness
and lack of energy? That crying myself to sleep every night is fun? No. I hate
it. I hate the fact that all I can think about is how much I want to die. I
hate it I hate it I hate it. Maybe some teenagers say they are depressed
because it's a "trend" and they want attention. But you know what,
fucking give them that attention because they probably need it. Make them know
you care. Because honestly that's all I want- to know that people care
about me. That if I died, people would cry for me, go to my funeral,
actually give a damn. Because I don't know if life is worth living if I am constantly
in pain, and I'm seriously considering just ending it.
don't end it please. i don't know you and you don't know me but i do know what you're going through. i know what its like to cry as you go to sleep. i know how horrible it feels when you have to fight for everything: you have to fight to go to school, you have to fight to eat, you have to fight to even get up and take a shower. its exhausting and its tiring.all you want to do is sleep because thats the only way you can get away from it all, and eventually you turn to suicide because thats the only way you can get away from it all forever. believe me, i know. but you have to believe it'll get better. it will trust me. every time you push through a bad day, you're one day closer to the good days. these bad days don't last, and when you come through to the other side you'll be so much stronger for it.and when you hear yourself laugh with no hidden pain for the first time after a long time it will be beautiful.
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