Anonymous Story #5

1.   This month, May, marks one year since I began to self harm because of my depression and social anxiety. My depression is basically me having thoughts of suicide constantly because I think I'm worthless and that no one even needs me here. That I'm too fat, ugly, stupid, weird and annoying. That everyone, including my friends and family, hate me and wouldn't give me a second thought as soon as they heard I was dead. My social anxiety is well, just that. People terrify me and I can't talk in front of others to save my life. But I've been able to fight them for over a month now. Although I do have those suicidal thoughts every once in awhile throughout the day, I have two things that prevent me from falling back down into the dark hole I once thought I'd never escape. Those two things? My baby nephew and music. They have helped me far more than any friend, social worker or therapist has. And I intend to pull through and win this fight against my depression and anxiety. Because I do not want then controlling my life forever.