Poem by Anonymous

        I Wonder

Pills
strewn across my desk
the lamp shining only on them
I wonder if they can see my face.

Tears
running down my cheek
falling to the carpet
I wonder if it’ll still be wet
when I join them on the floor.

Razors
hidden behind every drawer
stained with my blood
never cleaned
for fear of being seen in the sink
I wonder if they like
the pain they cause me.

Bracelets
so worn
so many
I wonder if they know
why they’re really there.

Walls
standing so tall and strong
watching my every move
I wonder if they care.

Sister
yelling that she doesn’t love me
wishing she could leave
and never speak to me again
I wonder if she knows
how much I wish she felt differently.

Mother
unknowing of my struggle
avoiding interaction
I wonder if she notices the cuts.

Father
left a long time ago
also left last night
again
I wonder if he takes what I said
the night he left
seriously.

Grandparents, aunt, uncles, cousins
so far away
so few interactions
I wonder if they’ll come
to my memorial service.

Friends
dealing with their own shit
looking to me for support
I wonder if they know
that I’m on the edge.