Poem by Anonymous

Reasons to Live

I was going to write a list
of things in this life worth living for
despite having people yell that I’m a whore
despite hours spent
crying on the floor
feeling ignored
but every reason I think of seems piss poor
when no one hears me when I cry
people say they couldn’t care if I died
it’s hard to “see the light”
when depression is like
an endless night
I’m tired.
Not the kind of tired
I can sleep off
the kind I need a cliff to jump off
keep the lamp switched off
so the haters will lay off
I can’t keep goofing off
I can’t walk it off
I can’t turn it off
the only reason I’m still living
is because I don’t want
to cause other people pain
and I’m the only thing standing between
my friend and his addiction to cocaine
I don’t want her to think of me
staring out at the rain
imagining everyone else she’s lost
I won’t add on
to that grief that can’t be slain
but I’m having trouble staying sane
I don’t know how much longer I can feign
being strong
being okay
I’m not okay
and I can get help
because it doesn’t stick
I can’t just lick
my wounds
brush off the words
of that dick
telling my I’m thick
not realizing I’m sick
and he’s making it worse
I don’t want to live
I’m sharpening the shiv
I’ve nothing left to give
and it’s killing me