Anonymous Story #22

So it all started freshman year. My best friend who is a year older had hung out with all the black kids at the school, so I wanted to hang out with them too.

Well they were awesome they didn't judge me for how I dressed or anything and I dressed weirdly. When 8th grade summer came along going into freshman year I started smoking weed and drinking a lot and hooking up with different guys.

They were all black of course and they all told me I was too skinny and I needed a bigger butt, so I started to binge eat for a long time to gain weight.

Well I was "perfect" when freshman year came along and more guys wanted me for themselves. One guy that I hooked up with told all of his friends that I sucked his dick and to this day they yell across the halls " Ooo, am I next"

It was terrible and I hated everyone calling me a slut and stuff but it made me feel good at that time. Anyways, I still had a lot of guys messaging me because they had heard that I sucked this guy's dick an they wanted in.

I didn't know that one guy wanted me for that, and I met up with him at the Darien fest because I thought we were going to get to know each other and smoke pot in his car. So horny teen me went with this shady guy to his car. 

He kept saying to "do him a favor" and I kept saying no . No. No I'm leaving. He grabbed me and pushed me down and grabbed my hair. He forced me to put my mouth on his thing. Iit was the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced.

When I realized this was happening I bit down and he let go and I ran as fast as I could away to find my friends. This is really disturbing but I got a throat infection a couple days later, it was nasty.

Well, then my "boyfriend" who had hooked up with other girls while we were going out got really angry and said it was my fault.

Whatever I was in love with him, so I stayed with him, I don't know why.

He would always harass me about how I wasn't fit and I should work out with him.

At the same time this kid at school bullied me everyday about what I wore and said I was ugly and fat.

I usually can ignore people who bully me but this guy really got into my head

I would cut out carbs then sweets and then I just stopped eating.

So I stopped eating and started excersizing ALOT i would excersize in school and after school to keep me busy from eating...my diet would be gatorade water mabey fruit one day and back to Gatorade

I lost a lot of weight I was 5 7" and 105 pounds, which is very unhealthy

Well I started to get really sick all the time and I couldn’t exercise because everything would hurt really badly

and I'm getting better slowly. I'm still under weight, but I feel fat every time I eat so I only eat a meal a day which is better.

 A couple months back I started to take adderal as a weight loss pill because you don't get hungry.

Once I wore those shinny skin tight high waisted pants. At that time I hadn't eaten for 4 days because I was taking adderal and I didn't get hungry

I realize what I'm doing to my body but I hate not controlling myself.