In 2010 I was
obese I always wanted to be skinny and I also liked a lot of boys, but none of
them liked me. I thought it was cause I was fat and ugly. All my friends were
skinner then me and I constantly felt so bad about myself. Then one day me and
my friend baked cookies and we ate to much cookie dough and I felt so sick to
my stomach. So I went running to the bathroom and kept trying to throw up cause
I felt sick. Then I stocked my finger down my throat and puked it all up. Then
a thought crossed my mind.... I thought "I just made myself throw up"
and then I thought "I could do this after every meal. Feel full and lose
weight" so I did.... So I did that for 2 years. I did lose a lot of weight
people noticed. Guys actually liked me and I actually liked them, but the one
guy I had the biggest crush on and I thought he'd like me after all that and he
didn't. In fact he was into more bigger girls... Like his girlfriend. I was so
hurt when I found out who his girlfriend was and that he had one. My goal was
to lose weight and get the guy, but that didn't happen.
Then one day my Mom noticed how pale I was and how after every meal I'd run to the bathroom and try not to make it obvious. One day I was walking to her and I just tipped over to the side. I blacked out and my Mom was freaking out! She said "You have to go to the doctor" I said no I don't want to I'm fine and she said if it happens again she will take me. Then one day I was eating dinner and then of course after that I went to the bathroom, but this time I got caught. My Mom ran upstairs and said "Why are you throwing up!?" I just said "I'm sorry" "I have heard you do this multiple time, but I've never said anything. Clean up and come down stairs we're going to talk to Dad." So I did and basically they didn't really help. They just said I'm disappointed in you and kept threatening me to take me to the doctor. My dad said you're no longer going to throw up. You're going to eat you're food and keep it in your tummy.
The next day he had healthy meals planned out and everything. I was supposed to eat 1,200 cals everyday. That was way to much for me. So I made my own meal plan. Which contained 400-800 cals a day. I do not know how I did that cause that is not enough calories for me now. I still felt weak, light headed, shaky, and cold.
But of course I fell back into the Bulimia. I thought I'm starving and I can't eat; at least when I had it was never hungry. I lost more weight. Seemed like no matter how low the number was it was never low enough. The lowest I have ever weight is 103.2 pounds. This shocks me now. I can't believe I ever weighed that much. My Mom and Dad were both working so it was so easy to do it without anyone noticing.
Then one day I took this class and I met this wonderful guy. I was really shy to talk to him at first, but gradually over time we became really close, like brother and sister. I told him I was bulimic he has no clue what it was. He googled it and was so sad that I did something like that to myself everyday. He said is there anything I can do to help and I said just check on me every night and ask me if I have throwing up. From that day on he kept asking me if I was. He occasionally does now, but he knows I'm okay, Which I am. We're now a strong couple and his my rock and everything. If you do have any kind of eating disorder tell a close friend and ask them to check on you. It really helps. I could have not over come this horrible time period in my life without him.
I have been clear of Bulimia since August 2012. I do get thoughts of throwing up now and then but I just always say I can get through this. I am healthy as I ever was. I have a appropriate weight for my body and I no longer feel dizzy all the time, and I enjoy my food an appreciate it more and the people that surround me with such love and understanding.
Then one day my Mom noticed how pale I was and how after every meal I'd run to the bathroom and try not to make it obvious. One day I was walking to her and I just tipped over to the side. I blacked out and my Mom was freaking out! She said "You have to go to the doctor" I said no I don't want to I'm fine and she said if it happens again she will take me. Then one day I was eating dinner and then of course after that I went to the bathroom, but this time I got caught. My Mom ran upstairs and said "Why are you throwing up!?" I just said "I'm sorry" "I have heard you do this multiple time, but I've never said anything. Clean up and come down stairs we're going to talk to Dad." So I did and basically they didn't really help. They just said I'm disappointed in you and kept threatening me to take me to the doctor. My dad said you're no longer going to throw up. You're going to eat you're food and keep it in your tummy.
The next day he had healthy meals planned out and everything. I was supposed to eat 1,200 cals everyday. That was way to much for me. So I made my own meal plan. Which contained 400-800 cals a day. I do not know how I did that cause that is not enough calories for me now. I still felt weak, light headed, shaky, and cold.
But of course I fell back into the Bulimia. I thought I'm starving and I can't eat; at least when I had it was never hungry. I lost more weight. Seemed like no matter how low the number was it was never low enough. The lowest I have ever weight is 103.2 pounds. This shocks me now. I can't believe I ever weighed that much. My Mom and Dad were both working so it was so easy to do it without anyone noticing.
Then one day I took this class and I met this wonderful guy. I was really shy to talk to him at first, but gradually over time we became really close, like brother and sister. I told him I was bulimic he has no clue what it was. He googled it and was so sad that I did something like that to myself everyday. He said is there anything I can do to help and I said just check on me every night and ask me if I have throwing up. From that day on he kept asking me if I was. He occasionally does now, but he knows I'm okay, Which I am. We're now a strong couple and his my rock and everything. If you do have any kind of eating disorder tell a close friend and ask them to check on you. It really helps. I could have not over come this horrible time period in my life without him.
I have been clear of Bulimia since August 2012. I do get thoughts of throwing up now and then but I just always say I can get through this. I am healthy as I ever was. I have a appropriate weight for my body and I no longer feel dizzy all the time, and I enjoy my food an appreciate it more and the people that surround me with such love and understanding.
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